Saya sayang cikgu.

Hari Rabu. Alhamdulillah kami survive again!

BI, CHEM 2, BM 2, REHAT, BIO 2, PHYS 2, B.ARAB 2,
KELAS TAMBAHAN: ADDITIONAL MATHEMATICS

Ok, addmths class tadi til 4.45 sebab saya, Thaiyibah dan Amalina masuk paling lambat. but Trig Fns was a blast! and yeah I made fun of Azlyn as well sebab I noe that its Reciprocal! ha ha ha. bukan senang nak kenakan Azlyn, especially when she's not healthy.

So yes, I seem to be having those nightmares inside this head again. I noe Hanisah and I are feeling the same way inside our heads too. Someone would say that worrying about something we shouldnt would just finding trouble to ourselves only. Its true, kan Hanisah? cuz someone also once said that "do not worry about what has happened, or what will happen. What you can Think of is How you make it Happen"
to Hanisah dan saya: I noe sometimes our heads just stop functioning because we try to think of everything at the once. I noe its no pretense. I noe its hard to keep calm afterwards. but just think of How we will make it Happen. Try and remember Allah a lot during these times, and find our Home where we would feel at peace and happy..

Verily, the help of Allah is (always) near... (al-baqarah)

So, what have i thought of today?
Hari ni teringat dekat cikgu-cikgu yang saya sangat sayangi. I remember at one time earlier this year, I was so sick of the school that I really wanted to run away. I wanted to run away from everything, my life, my home, myself... but what keeps me living the days is how when I enter the class, the smile of my teachers will always embrace me.

The grateful things for today, is when I gave out a smile to Cikgu Hassan and he smiled to me too. (ni Azlyn kalau baca mesti tergelak sebab ingat kita jiwang dengan cg Hasan)..

Physics today was very calming. even though I still didnt get it right about Radioactivity *sorry cg! we are now in the last chapter of F5, when Cg Hassan brought up this story about his late mother. He told us that when he was six, his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. being "orang kampung" as cg Hassan prescribed with still embracing their cultural beliefs, his parents went to a witchdoctor (bomoh) first before getting the diagnose from hospital, and the witchdoctor told his parents that his mother "kena sampuk dengan jin bawah pokok". (ade ke macam tu bomoh ni!).

ok thats not the point.

but Cg Hassan told us that he was grateful, because even when he was told that his mother is now living with cancer, he could still have 3 little siblings after that. even though they had to go to ibu susuan because his mother was sick, but.. he was grateful. the love that ties up a son and a mother is always that pure, and divine. in the end, Allah loves his mother better than anyone knew. and She died.

td waktu kelas physics jadi macam menyayat hati pulak. Cg Hassan, bless us with ur knowledge please. and we pledge to Allah to give us better understanding. Ameen!

Alhamdulillah, Wednesday wars is over. Its time for a new phase of thursday tomorrow! Himne wani! (be strong).

+ Alfatihah to ibu kepada cg Hassan.

+ I have Allah. Always.

Hang Li Po

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Hari ni sangat penat.... and Alhamdulillah we could still survive! ;p

BI, CHEM 2, BM 2, REHAT, BIO 2, PHYS 2, B.ARAB 2,
KELAS TAMBAHAN: CHEMISTRY.

Fuhh, macam hebat je kami semua selamat mengharungi Hari Rabu yang penuh Pancaroba ini. LOL.

yep, this morning had the same gastric but Alhamdulillah, Allah sayang juga kat saya. It was raining and it would be really nice if we had all gone back to sleep ;p. but I do noe, that when some of us may like the rain, there are also others who couldnt stand the coldness of the rain. The rain is a blessing, yet the coldness gave us a sign, to always be prepared with our umbrella for whats worst to come.

Nothing much happened today except that it was very tiring. but Alhamdulillah, the day was saved in BM double periods when Cg Zubidah decided to teach us drama Hang Li Po. and we had to say out the lines of the drama *some of the lines were pretty disgusting (tapi saya masih yakin, ini topic favourite Hanisah dan Thaiyibah ;p). the story has a lot of morals to be offered to us to be exact. and yeah at some point, i gave credits to Hang Li Po for sticking up to her husband in the end, even though she fell in love with Hang Jebat at first. (Hang Li Po ni macam kuat iman jugak lah...). the best scene would be when Shahrul and Firdaus acted out as Dang Wangi and Hang Jebat. LOL. they had the right intonation for showing how people are actually bubbly in love i guess. lol.

makan banyak waktu rehat. but the canteen's soup got a lot of MSG so waktu Bio jadi pening pening lalat sikit... cg Sai as always, was very nice and entertaining during class. and the day ended by tc Norhayati repeating the theory kahwin dengan metal in chemistry. lol.

Alhamdulillah...

+ I have Allah, and I have my parents and family... please do bless me and make me strong, insya-Allah...

Im not you, Dont be Me

Today’s epic revolves around the question; If everyone says they are different, then who really is different?

Often we heard that in order for them to feel superior, they would say “Im different from others, don’t expect me to do the things other people would do...” in reality, it is the truth right? No one would ever do the same thing any other person would do. Even if they happened to be conjoined twins who shared the same leg, at one time this twin would want to go to Warta to buy some milk, the other twin would prefer to go to Cold Storage just to get the same type of milk.

We are so different yet the same, the truth some of us might have to noe now or else they would continue to live in their own world. In addition to that, we also must realize that the fact that we can never deny; (jeng jeng jeng...) unfortunately we are all human beings... And were not that different after all. We stuffed our food into the same place; mouth..(ade ke orang makan masuk dalam hidung?). we have two legs, two arms and hands and one and only brain given for each and every one of us..
my point would be, even how different we think we are, humans tend to want the same basic needs. Love, Home, Attention and Peace. (or u could add some more if u noe some..) *malas nak terang panjang2 sebab penat...

so what happened today?

I couldnt sleep, the gastric kept me accompanied. (tapi Alhamdulillah, Allah tetap sayang saya..itu saya yakin.) I woke up feeling nauseated, wanting to vomit but I kept quite. or should I say, this time lets just be that no one notices that. pergi sekolah macam biasa... sambil rasa nak muntah dekat perhimpunan. tiba tiba je, satu manusia aneh dipersilakan untuk berucap di hadapan perhimpunan mengenai Dadah, sebab minggu ni minggu Perangi Dadah Habis Habisan anjuran PRS. manusia aneh ni (namanya Ikhwan sebenarnya) secara tak langsung made the whole barisan F5 tergelak.

he started his speech with telling us what are the types of dadah.. and then he said *muka serious. "mereka ini mengambil dadah kerana ingin merasa HIGH atau dalam erti kata lain 'perasaan bahagia'.." the crowd explodes into laughters and then he continued "sila ambil serious perkara ini ye..." *muka lebih serious drpd td..
LOL.
next, he said "antara tanda-tanda yang ketara anda boleh lihat pada seseorang yang mengambil dadah ialah... etc... etc... gelak gelak tak tentu pasal, suka menerawang dan bersendirian, hilang minat pada perkara seperti pelajaran..." LOL. lagi lah F5 gelak sebab tanda tanda tu mcm ade pada kami yang nak ambil SPM ni... (macam orang ambil dadah pulak..)

even though its hard to say, but i have to admit his speech gave us all a smile to start off the day. then, its back to studies! this morning, admths double period again. Im sorry teacher, sebab tc semangat sangat nak mengajar tapi kami buat muka kambing. well, its hard to face the reality that from now onwards admths will take 7 periods of our time in a week! tp tc zarinah cakap "nanti kita Qadha' sivik ye.." (ha ha itu yang saya suka tu ;p)

I thank Azlyn again, for being pateint with me AGAIN when I asked her simple questions regarding addmths and Mths. I hope Allah fare both of our fate well in the future, ameen! ohh, and today, we also planned our future-to-be adventure after SPM with the teachers (well, it wasnt that of an adventure since Sabah was cancelled off). we decided that since maybe some of us couldnt afford such fares, we ll go either Pulau Redang, or Pulau Pangkor or Pulau Perhentian (dekat pulau pulau tu ade ape?). I was into the idea of snorkelling with Azlyn.. ha ha ha. tapi Azlyn kata 'sungguh kurang sopan..' (I really cant wait to get this SPM done.)

After school, we had usrah. it wasnt expected so I didnt prepare anything for my usrah. but I have to say I miss them so much even though we only met for several times. so we ended up merging with group Hanisah, K.Asral, Farhana, Izzati and Najihah and played "tikar aladdin". it was mainly about team work and how to work out the real ukhuwah.. Alhamdulillah. THEN after that, had physics class with cg Hassan. I have to say I went in late so I couldnt quite catch up until cg Hassan gave out a "kambing theory.." (LOL sama case macam tc norhayati, keluarkan theory pelik2..) Cg Hassan cakap.. transistor ni macam sekumpulan Kambing. Kambing C (collector) ni nak lalu...dia nak pergi kandang Kambing E. tapi pintu kandang dia terbuka sikit je, so kambing tak boleh lalu. datanglah sekumpulan Kambing B (base) in saviour... mereka pun buka lah pintu untuk kambing C pergi ke Kambing E. conclusion: current from C needs to be passed through and be added to B to go to E. (betul ke ni??) LOL. that how it goes, the Kambing story...

Muhammad came today, to train the debate family debate. I was only there for 5 minutes to make sure they are doing fine (tanya khabar, hope that everyone is healthy). I just got to noe Laila here is allergic to some food and so she loses weight. Allah bless u, dear. and Raihan, gudluck for ur Karate tournament this weekend.. Arif hakimi didnt come today and even though I was disappointed, but life has to go on.. I wish u guys all the best. and just noe that, Im always here. I noe its quite annoying to say that "Im here" but Im actually not, but Im really sorry I cant help that. Aisyah, Madihah, Laila, Ulfah, Raihan and others, please be strong. (oh Allah, please make me strong too). Dont turn this world into Asam Jawa like I did. colour your own world and dont repeat the mistakes I did. =) whatever happens, Ill be right here with u guys ok.

*is this enough to be happy? - Happiness is a choice, wani. =)
Wallahua'alam.

I Have My Own World, GL

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Selepas semalam kena marah teruk dengan seseorang tu, hari ni terasa dunia ni mcm candy bar snickers yang ada jual dekat station minyak Petronas tu. kalau dulu dunia ni terase macam asam jawa, sekarang ni tak lagi kot. no, im sure. this world couldnt/cant/shouldnt/shant/musnt be that bad.

because i think im going crazy, i have to make myself write daily things occuring in my life, so no1. i wont get lost, insya-Allah. no2. my life would be more systematic and no3. so to prove that i have my own life too!

so what happened today?

Hari ni bangun pagi, rasa pening sebab semalam saja duduk lama lama bawah hujan masas tinggal sorang2 kat rumah dengan niat nak demam so tak payah pergi sekolah. (ok, niat tu tak menjadi). sebab terpandang jadual waktu admaths 2 masa (tapi cg tak masuk pun sebab perhimpunan lama sangat). but still, chemistry was a blast! during the assembly, got this gastric (tapi Alhamdulillah, Allah masih bagi lagi saya kesihatan lepas tu). masa tu jugak kena marah dengan cg ezana (saya mintak maaf cikgu) sebab waktu tu tengah tanya kawan dapat PLKN ke tak... mind u at that time the prefects were supposed to line up the students. My bad. tapi cikgu baik lepas tu =) saya pun gembira.

so yeah i got to noe that a lot of people were chosen to go to PLKN and some of them were even excited. they say "nak dakwah..." i wish them the best of luck but i also do pray that they wont change towards something else. ameen! n then chemistry.... ha ha ha. ok it was totally weird because we have never seen tc norhayati like that before. she was just saying that to displace the ion it needs to be according to the electronegativity of the atom. and she was like resembling the atoms to people who wants to get married (im sure, ni topic favourite thaiybah dan hanisah.) kalau ada seorang perempuan ni, dia nak kahwin. lepas tu ada dua orang laki. sorang bawa motor, sorang bawa mercedes. mana satu akan perempuan itu pilih? (dalam hati, cinta sejati) lol. but yeah of course lah in chemstry the theory was to pick the guy with the mercedes (more electronegativity). sebab cikgu cakap... duit itu menjamin kebahagiaan. LOL. so in order for the atom to be happy, it chose the one with more electronegativity to be displaced with.

afterwards, whats more interesting was that i got to noe, Amalina and Amir have to go to PLKN, leaving Thaiyibah and Amar to train debate b.arab next year. and all sorts of things came out because yeah, we all noe that Thaiyibah and Amar couldnt get along (ye lah, masing masing pelik). Class went well today, alhamdulillah. Thank u to Azlyn, the one who is always patient with me when i asked her questions (sometimes i do think that its a simple and dumb question, but sorry cant help it). she helped me a lot again today. Allah bless you, my friend.

even though everyone is tensed up right now with trials and SPM, but we got each other. Alhamdulillah. and most importantly, we have Allah by our side. even though kena cubit td waktu bio sebab ummi saya kata waktu hari temu mesra "cg sai, kalau anak saya nakal saya bagi rotan.. buat lah apa apa pun janji anak saya jadi orang..", tapi saya tetap cakap Alhamdulillah. sebab cg sai cubit sayang. =)

ok agaknye ni dah banyak serotonin (hormone buat orang happy), sebab tulis pun mcm dalam bubbly mood je. ill get to the point now. ..... I wondered today, what was it like to wear purdah? do u feel safe? do u feel empowered by it? do u feel if someone asks u to do so it means that person loves u and wants to protect u? kena cuba dulu lah baru tahu kan..? I got to noe, after my Sijil Pelajaran Merepek is over, ill get a pure 9 months of Nothing and Idleness, because the gov wants to standardise the start of the new semester or something. 9 months in hand! i would have loved to be freed at that time! tapi semalam dah ada orang marah, so kena dengar cakap. *kidding.

I asked myself, what would i be doing for the 9 upcoming months? ya Allah, a lot of time to memorize the Quran, Alhamdulillah. the thought of it itself made me happy and content. Then, lepas SPM je pergi Sabah dengan budak budak kelas (jadi ke cikgu Salwa?). afterwards, i plan with Hanisah to apply for being a teacher, teaching those kids in primary and kindergarten level. tapi hanisah tak nak budak tadika, she said that those kids ramai yang buang air dalam seluar nanti kita yang kena bersihkan. lol banyak excuse betul. get a driving lisence, cuz me, Thaiyibah and cik Sabihah dan janji nak bermalam dengan adik-adik yang ku sayang waktu IIU interschool debating championship 2011 (i noe Raihan and the rest would make me so proud! ;p). and finally, of course i wouldnt want to miss having to debate. nak debate dengan cik Hayati, kakak saya yang tengah murung jugak macam saya sebab periksa dia susah. nak debate dengan my debate family. n i promise to myself that I would become better insya-Allah to train my little siblings who hasnt got to noe the reality of debatings yet. Ill be there for them, come hell or high water. Be strong, everyonne (that includes me). lepas tu, Hanisah nak pergi belajar memasak dan menjahit (which i didnt really noe why. i thought i alredy got an A in my Kemahiran Hidup). tapi teringin nak buat cream puff..

sometimes, berangan ni memang buat orang happy. tapi kita hanya merancang, Allah yang menentukan... Allah mungkin tarik balik diri kita yang memang menjadi milikNya bila-bila masa sahaja... Tubna ya Allah...

and lastly, Ustazah Marzilah came in our class and Alhamdulillah again, she made me realize a lot of things. she said to us "ramai pelajar maahad ni terasa terkongkong sekrang ni.." (Hmmpphh, ustzah macam psychic pulak). i want to push forward the thinking that menjadi seorang yang baik is not hard, tapi best! for the love that we have for Allah.... (oh Allah please do make me strong). setakat mana kita rasa terkongkong, kalau kita ada Ummi dan Abah yang sangat sayangkan kita.. dan rakan rakan yang sentiasa berada bersama kita... Hanisah kata sedara -sedara dia ada yang masuk madrasah dekat sri Petaling, pakai purdah lepas tu kalau ustaz masuk kelas datang mengajar pun kena di sebalik tabir. subhanallah... Wani boleh ke macam tu agaknya? ;p *muhasabah diri skejap.

yes, I was jealous of other people's lives. I thought I was insignificant. I thought I wasnt seen by the people around me. I was inferior and I wanted to prove something. Prove what?? I have my own world, with Allah. just have to bear that in mind.

the post is quite long. sorry people, i need to write my thoughts so i wont go crazy. balik sekolah dalam kereta saya cakap dengan ummi ; I felt like Im going crazy...

Ummi; No dear, because u have Allah, n u have me...

+ kudos to my twin. Wallahu a'alam.

Apa Erti Saya Hidup?

We are the votaries of Allah and we dare to be selfish in our lives... Astaghfirullah.

Recent events in my life left me astounded and kept me wondering the big question entitling this post. "Apa Erti Saya Hidup?". we say that we dont have to think about it because Allah already answered the question for us in the Quran in Al-baqarah saying that the purpose of us to live a life in this world is to become the "khaleef" of the world. but how many of us truly understand what it really meant and embrace themselves into becoming one?

to be talking about being a "khaleef", is a one long way to go..
and Im here to share a few thoughts about it.

A very much Thank you to Tc Saniah, Ustazah Adibah, Ustazah Marzilah and a very close-by twin for being there for me when I seemed lost with my own self. I hated to be Wani, I was lost and I dont even noe what Wani is really doing with her life. I wanted to be Fuzzy, a cat or just a sole bare tree that doesnt have to think about evoking and provoking thoughts in life. But behind every cloud there is always a silver lining, and Alhamdulillah I managed to pull it off.

Dear Friends and Family,

One evening, I went to seek for some truth. I have to admit I wasnt even focussed in my prayers as this question kept on banging my head and sounded like the school bell. I was prfound by the quesion "macam mana nak jadi baik?". but another question before having to see that question is "apa dia orang yang baik?". 'versus' taught me "orang baik" ini adalah orang yang beriman dengan Allah... (Hairi was the one who said that in the novel). dan orang yang beriman dengan Allah adalah orang yang mempercayai dengan sepenuh hati dan mengamalkan apa yang diketahuinya (ilmu; knowledge).

Eemaan is speech and action. It increases and decreases. If u perform gud deeds, it increases and if u do wrong, it decreases.

shaykh abdur razzaak al abbaad

so here goes the story, im just here to talk about the small things that many people took it for granted. We have a big objective coming up in the Hereafter (that means after this world has ended). We have a deadline to meet with Allah, so we couldnt afford by to try to make ourselves become a better person- orang yang beriman. tapi kenapa kita masih keluar ramai-ramai tengok wayang cerita "eclipse" dalam gelap sedangkan kita tahu cerita itu banyak romance seen? kenapa kita masih buat perkara perkara lagha yang sering melalaikan kita? kenapa kita masih tengok cerita korea sampai pukul 3 pagi instead of doing tahajjud?

Hmppphh. people say, alahhh ni semua bende kecik je. bukannye kite tinggal solat. think again, please. these little things reflected us right back where it shows that kita ni cuai dalam menjaga iman kita sendiri. (sorry lah terase nak marah skejap). tengok wayang cite toys story ke, iron man ke, dalam gelap tempat tu kita tak tahu pun ape yang terjadi walaupun kita keluar dengan family. answer me true or false, we noe theres a definite possibility that people are doing god-noes-what inside the cinema right? kalau keluar dengan family, tak terase ke family tu yang mereka ada responsibility terhadap the other family members and secara tak langsung, mereka sendiri mendedahkan to the other family members tentang perkara sebegitu. the kafirun claimed war to us by saying they will invade our thinking and destroy us from the inside. we hoped for the war to stop, we hoped for our freedom and sole peace in this world, how can we change the big things sedangkan benda yang kecil ni pun kita pandang remeh? subhanallah. ok lahh, emo sikit sebab tengah geram.

"al-iman yazidu wa yanqus"

Wallahu a'alam.

A Moment to Remember

bile dah sengal sangat, tension tahap katak duduk di bawah tempurung, ni lah jadinye ; pergi bukak balik video suju yang merepek2. Hmphhh..

one of the scenes they captured in Exploration of Human Body. A moment to remember bile dah tension sangat. ha ha ha. suju was doing an impromptu act with a girl to create a crying moment. the tears were to be tested in front of a high speed camera sbb nak tengok movement die aje.

*dengan muka serious nye nak berlakon to create a crying moment

Girl; Have u heard?

Donghae; what is it about?

Girl; They said I have an eraser in my mind...
Lets break up.

Donghae; Did he say he saw it? *muka tak puas hati.

Girl; Everything will end..

Donghae; The eraser in ur mind... Did he say he saw it?!! *muka lagi tak puas hati

*background music*

Girl; Its over.
Dont live in your memory
There is no need to be nice to me..
I'll forget everything
What's the use of being nice to me??

Donghae; WHO ASKED U TO EAT THE ERASER???!!!

LOL gelak guling2. makk,, saya tension sangat tension.

=) credits to Syakirah and Hani for giving me the video .

*kalau yang lain tak paham, takpe lah.... LOL