Saturday, March 27, 2010


I Hate it.

Recently tc Rohani taught us this new power word to use for the unexpressed discontent feelings that we felt all the time = Grievances (its a Noun).

so Basicly, what could be applied here is that in life, there would always be someone hurting somebody, then somebody taking revenges and avenges, and then this tiny blackheads in our heart would develop into a huge pimple, so big that we are bothered by its existence, then somehow we feel that we need to stay away from anybody and hate every single person crossing out paths.

Grievances causes that. and I Hate it.

its painful when someone hurts u, especially when that person ignores the fact that the person did hurt u. u dont feel respected, u feel unappreciated, u feel that living in this world is not worth after all, u feel everything but happiness in this world. whats bigger is that when u finally asked urself how many times did u cry for that person when that person never cried for u... that even when u r hurting u keep on saying sorry simply because u just dont know what to do, but the truth whether the sorry is said or done, people dont really care do they?

only that we have to Remember, we were born being the "khairu ummah" , it should be one of our "fitrah" to be able to accept it and let go... Grievances, is not a word u could use to measure and count how much the person has hurt u, or to compare the goodness we have done to the person so that it is easier to avenge. It is always about forgiving each other, even though it may be hard sometimes. but thats what should be in all of us, because being able to forgive people no matter if that person kills ur cat for in the "fitrah" of our Faith; Iman. It reflects our Iman, that maybe we are left with a weaken Iman in truth (im not pointing out to anybody).

Jarang2 kita dengar masyarakat kita sekarang asyik dengan menyebut ucapan "terima kasih" atau "minta maaf" walaupun hakikatnya kadang2, orang lain yang langgar dia tengah jalan... Moralnya di sini, Manusia ni selalu Terlupa, dan kadang2 Kebaikan yang sebegini rupa selalu Dilupakan....

Monday, March 22, 2010

Never Realizing

"ya Allah, pandanglah hamba-Mu ini dengan pandangan Rahmat dan Kasih SayangMu."

As a human, sometimes we never realize things that we should have clearly seen long time ago..

Im sorry, for everything.. to everyone.. (saying sorry and thank you everytime u feel bad was way better than i thought.)

Im sorry, that I offended quite a lot of people directly, or indirectly for the rest of my spend ed lifetime. Im sorry , wholeheartedly to my mom and dad. Im sorry, wholeheartedly to my family. Im sorry, wholeheartedly to my teachers. Im sorry, wholeheartedly to my friends. Im sorry, wholeheartedly to the Earth for not taking care of you properly.. Im sorry.

Its been quite an emotional week even after the ILIM, Im sorry.

and last, As a human we Never Realize that what we Fear the most in life is

Being Forgotten.

Tarbiah itu bukan segala-galanya, tetapi Segala-galanya ialah Tarbiah

Ok, this i can guarantee u. This is not an Entahlah post :

The first day back to school was really tiring (for the body but not for my mind). Ive been climbing up the stairs all day long settling a few here and there, trying to find peace in the middle of the busy-ness. What happened during the holidays were history. Now its time for History-making in Reality.

So, basicly i did went to ILIM (Institut Latihan Islam Malaysia), and did a mistake by which i got into the wrong room (not with my destined roomate-Ainiz; really sorry for that). instead, i stayed with Nil, the KA for MN hostel. it was really frightening at first when its time to "sedar diri" that u r a "pelajar luar" and would put everything around everywhere like u own the room compared to a disciplined KA here. That was basicly the first challenge, and phhheeeww i juts hope that Nil would not penalize me for not washing my clothes every night ;p

There, i would also want to write a book entitled " Rahsia 3 Hari mengenali Hanisah Ibrahim" cuz she was really crazily catchy and hyper when she's with her mates. This friend of mine taught me a lot more than just laughing, she taught me the meaning of friendship and how we would be so crazily sleepy when the auditorium's lights were put off. but during one the conversations with her that i realized something. Hanisah was randomly talking to me in the room about "....." when she suddenly said that "Tarbiah is not everything, but Everything is Tarbiah". it strucked me, for i realized something deeper than what the sentence really meant. This girl, Thaiyibah and I really had a great time figuring out what life means, and not to mention crying really grossily in the dark together. Bless u all./

Alhamdulillah, even thought everything went quite smooth but there were still a few unfortunate events that cant be avoided. Afiyah fell into one of the drains at ILIM, and i pray that ur leg will get healthy soon. another unfortunate thing was, when finally today i get to meet my beloved Kero, i was notified that she had an accident just for the sake of a cat. Her hand got a few stitches and her right leg's bone was displaced (retak). Im sorry for not being there Syakirah, but i ll pray that u will get better insya-Allah like u always pray for me during my hard times.

So ILIM, overall was a great experience. it was very peaceful, that every night u could just stare right up the sky and say nothing but Subhanallah. or rather, u will spend every night there with very loud wails and cries because of the "sesi penghayatan". Finally i had the first will written in case i died the next day (Allah knows best), and they reminded me a lot from the beginning of our existence and how we should be really grateful to Allah because of his Endless Love and Enormous Rahmah bestowed upon us. We, were born as a fighter and will always be a fighter... so please Bless us with Your blessings, oh Allah,. our journey and jihad hasnt ended Just Yet.

Memories; ustz jamal "ape hobi awak?" -"panjat bumbung!", "buka peti ais!", "menyapu!", "minum jus!" , "minum teh!" =) Fiver 2010, we Are a Complicated Community... SPM 100% Ameen.

Itu Janji Kami.

The End

p/s; Dont forget to Pray. Always.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Post Entahlah.

im writing this down, fully aware that in the next 10 minutes i wont be able to type again. but... this is a must

This Holiday;

ILIM trip is tomorrow, havent packed a single thing not to mention dont noe what to pack. rasa mcm budak kecik asyik2 tanya ibu "stokin nak bawak berape?" , "baju tidur?" (tidur ke kite kat sane nnt ainiz?) ;p "berus gigi kena bawak jugak?"

This piece of me thats writing really doesnt feel like leaving the house for 4 solid days. getting cold feet (wonder why). mcm nak kena campak dalam hutan 3 bulan. but wani, u ll survive.

so apart from that, im truly sorry for not getting in touch with a lot of people during this holiday. sincere apology to Iman especially, n i didnt really watch Korean drama the whole time Iman. of course i love u more than this really cute Korean Guy. No doubt there.

secara Am nya, post ini adalah tah pa pe.
saya sedang berasa ;

Sangat Geram Pada Diri Saya
Sangat Lapar
Sangat Penat
Sangat nak Tido
Sangat Malas
Sangat rasa Nak Mintak Maaf pada Semua Orang

Dunia ini bulat, mcm bola, mcm bola ikan, mcm bola mata, mcm, bola sepak, mcm bola kempis.

Only He knows whats Really been Going on,

oh Allah.....


Saturday, March 6, 2010

All I Ever Wanted

... Is for The World to be A Better Place ...

"apa Erti Naqib"
-Penjaga kepada sekelompok Masyarakat

[This page is Empty]

Guess why?!
saya sedang memandang ke hadapan, adakah itu bermakna saya sedang memikirkan masa hadapan?

Guess why?!
kita selalu berfikir tentang diri kita sendiri, tp x pernah nak fikir pasal orang lain

Guss why?!
saya sudah penat
-tido lah
mane boleh tido, Bio x bace lagi
-dah tu yang duduk menerawang kat sini ape kebende nya?
Bising ahh!

All I Ever Wanted.
Is this World to be a Better Place for All.....

Allah Knows wani,

Allah just knows.......