Saturday, April 9, 2011

I Am Disappointed.


I am lost. ya Allah.. wat in the world is this whole world doing?

writing this post, i so strongly hoped with all my hopes tat the person whom I could turn to the most right now would read this.. YA RASULULLAH.

dear beloved Prophet Sallahualaihiwasallam,

sadly ya rasulul amin, this person who is writing this is in an angry, despair, and disappointed state. she noes perfectly being angry is one of devils plan to destruct the human kind. but this lump in her heart cant seem to be held in any longer ya rasulullah. she wondered what in the world is wrong with her. or, wat in the world is wrong with the world.

ya rasulullah,
she is in utter despair because she thinks she is lost. she comes out of her comfort zone (dq), and found so many uncomfortable thing ya rasulullah. she noes being angry wouldnt help, but wat would help her instead, being lost in these concrete and heartless world. wat would help, if not with tears streaming down as she pours down her feelings bluntly expecting you would understand; which you do.

ya rasulullah,
wat would hve become of your ummah? wat would hv become of me? why r we like this ya rasulul amin? why havnt we follow obediently your sunnah and the quran, the things u treasured us with so that we are not lost? i beg you, my beloved prophet. please, please, spread the enlightment u once brought into this world once again now. afraid, if u would exist in this world once again and see us ya rasul, im very afraid, very much afraid, that u wouldnt even want to admit that we are your ummah... because of how destructive we are towards this world, because of how zalim and injustice we are towards ourselves, not putting the right thing to its right place.. ya rasul, would u still accept us and give us syafaat,,and let us drink in the well of kauthar when the Judgement Day come ya rasulullah?

ya Rasulullah,
subhanallah, betul lah kami umat akhir zaman ya mustapha. kami tidak pernah melihatmu, kami tidak pernah berbicara denganmu, tetapi kami ingin terus mentaatimu ya rasul. kami ingin bertemu denganmu di padang mahsyar, dalam keadaan tersenyum, dan engkau juga tersenyum pada kami.ya Allah, kurniakanlah kami nur dan cahaya hidayah sepanjang zaman.

amin ya rabbal alamin.

I am disappointed. i feel as if Im Alone. in this Fight. A fight i figured out the end sole of it, but never the way to reach it. i saw my family today, with no unity, no spirit, no direction. i saw my twin with my two eyes in front of me tody, alas not knowing who exactly this person is. and I saw myself today, losing control and not reflecting the person i SHOULD be, a MUSLIM.

ya Rasul........ i realy wanted to b with you as i close my eyes in my dreams.....