Friday, October 22, 2010

The Art of War

1. the Calculation, estimating the boundaries of illusionary happines
2.the Challenge, facing negativity in life
3. the Plan of Attack, aiming for the right and important phase of life to b happy
4.positioning, putting urself together
5. directing, telling urself to act a move
6. Illusion and reality, noe which is which!
7. Engaging the force, force of positive terminal so that we are not negative?
8. the Nine variations, i have no idea what this is
9. moving the force, gerakkan tenaga anda ke arah kebaikan
10. situational positioning, macam GPS je
11. the Nine situation, idea.
12. the Feiry Attack, Attack the nest of hapiness and plough the sweetest fruit
13. the Use of intelligence, be wise if u want to start attacking.

*is this the steps towards being happy? no, the happiness is just right there. its not pursued


*God, i cant believe im writing this in tributes to my class, 5 Ibnu Sina.

On the first day of school this year, I got to noe tat my name was listed to enter the well-aclaimed top class, 5 Ibnu Sina. I was by far shocked, and some butterflies kicked in my belly. the Wani when she was form 1 would be delighted to enter the class wholeheartedly, but not this time. being a more matured Wani, and knowing the pros and cons, I doubt tat Ill ever get used to the serious environment in the class.

I managed to chat around with Azlyn and asked her if she wanted to sit next to me(Hah!), and surprisingly, she agreed. *Azlyn tahu tak waktu ni kita memang dah fikir nak kena reject dahh. lol. ok, from now on Ill be a gud girl. sit properly and focus in class. dont play around and always be close to books for quick revision. Tats wat was planned early in the year. AS IF.

entering the class was in fact a big blow for me. I hated the environment *sorry guys. it was too quiet to joke around or talk about korena stuff. it was too serious when u need a little laugh. once stepping a foot in the class i could sniff the air of sickening thoughts of wanting to compete with every one of the people in class. I was so used to nag around Syakirah and Hani tat I stayed silent to myself. I spoke of only touch-on-the-surface chats, keeping up a sheepish smile for everyone so no one would notice what i was really thinking.

I dont know these people in the class.

by the end of the second month it became worse when I decided to focus on debate and mtq. Azlyn used to say to me tat she rarely sees me. to me the only thing tat brought me forward is the lovely and adorable teachers of class 5 ibs. even when sometimes they scold us and push us off our limits in studies, but i always knew by heart tat all they ever wanted were to see their students excel in life.

mid-term came by, and there was this one week where i couldnt even sit the exams with my classmates. i had to go to terengganu and to some isolated camp site to train for mtq. i was devastated sometimes, to see how everyone has fall into their rightful places. every one seemed to have managed to adapt themselves with whatever the environment in the class was. and I, whom sometimes still cant remember where Suhaida and Humaira sat in class, was stil having a hard time managing my own personal time between studies and cocurriculum. I, whom sometimes stil couldnt gifure out the jokes made by Fara Sakinah, always felt deep inside..tat I am stranger.

not until recently, (yes, im the type who realizes things very late), I found tat there are too many things in that class to be cherished for. rather than keeping my real thoughts to myself. in this last month being with them, I would have to say that Im glad that I got to noe them, and Im therefore grateful that I was given the chance to be part of them.

I saw Heiqal and Syarif, laughing at some lame jokes to themselves when all the time throughout the year they have been sitting under hot, exposed-to-blazing-sun spot next to the window. I saw Shahrul, sleeping most of the time when the teachers are teaching in front. I saw Hazmi, scribbling some quick notes with his untidy writings. then I saw Hani and Aqila, doing some weird "regangan" when they felt bored (serious, memang pelik regangan tu). I saw Firdaus, focussed during addmths. I saw Afnan, our leader, going in and out of the class to make sure the school is well-organised. I saw this newcomer, Asyraf, and his admired determination to come to school everyday to study, even when he could barely walk with his crutches.

And I saw myself and Azlyn, laughing at some Peguam Negara and wanting to be the senator. laughing at every possible things to laugh. I have to admit I influenced Azlyn a lot when it comes to getting all hyped up and crazy =), but it was never a mistake to sit right next to her with all the suport she has given me (I dont noe about her. lol). Thank you.

I glanced back and I could see Syahirah and Akmal falling asleep during Syariah, Intan and Syahirah Atikah making weird noises at the back and laughing their hearts out. I saw Syaz, staying focussed when Syifa' slept soundly and cozily. Mikin, and Ama are said to have the same face and people always ask them if they were sisters. Izzati, our dedicated PKT, always running about here and there to make sure our needs are fulfilled. Hanisah and Thaiyibah and K.Asral! the laughing maniacs. lol. they made the class as colourful as it is by now with their groggy laughters. lol. Fara sakina and atikah, the one thing they cant stop talking is anime. suhaida and Humaira, tc rohani said they were very hard working people and i really respect tat. farhana, the one who promotes us to marshmallow halah and its very yummy. Ainiz, sahabat saya yang comel dan suka senyum kalau mood baik. and lastly, the four couplets, Amir Amar Ikhwan and Faris..always doing things their own way. buat presentation yang kadang2 merepek jugak. and always kena kacau dengan ustazah marzilah. "kalau nak tahu ni amir, ada janggut kambing. amar tak ada janggut kambing."

Every One in the Class, Thanks for the memories. You guys are one In a Million. I hope all of us will find success in life and become useful people for a greater and better world. and to Islam.


Proud to be an Avicenn-ian

Thursday, October 14, 2010

worthless game

* insyaAllah ill only b like ths for a moment or two. InsyaAllah...

I opened ths webpage i used to visit, it was a friend of mine.
I searched for its content, but alas the webpage told me tat im uninvited.
I was left speechless, knowing tat i used to have her as a friend.
She used to call me, to sooth me down whenever i lost control.
But now its like those memories never existed. Why? Because it only happened just for the sake of other person?!
I guess she wouldnt even look back at where i stand right now, not even a glance.
I assume she has forgotten everythng as if what we had is fake.
Yes, maybe i feel dejected for the moment, maybe i feel tat ths whole thing is some kind of worthless game.
But trust me dear friend, once i step out from this tortured moments, and once i step forward to go on with life, i wont ever look back to where our friendship once stand...
Because like i said, and as u acted out, our friendship is juat a worthless game.
You were once a gud friend, thanks for the memories...

after long weeks of hibernating

trial spm is officially over! Alhamdulillah!! =) so dear post, im now celebrating this glorified moment therefore, please pardon me for giving such bad words n comments.

Bila waktu trial ni, macam2 lah ragam manusia yang boleh kita tengok since day one. Ade yang memang tak kisah pun pasal buku, sbb macam dah tau je nak fail.. Ada pulak yang tenung buku sampai nak tembus muka surat tu, entah masuk entah tak. Then ada pula yang jenis rilex, buat muka mcm everythng dah baca. Anthr type, we cld see very smart ppl being very humble, even though his/her friends tanya dumb questions..but he/she stil answers them wholeheartedly.

Now, di mana yang kurang menyenangkan sekrang ni?
Pardon me kalau whoever reads ths terasa, but i doubt tat anyone reads ths bcuz not many ppl noe ths blog, which is wat shld b maintained.
The day before trial started, we were given a full-detailed speech by ustzh marzilah on how we shld behave during trial. Some of the things are:
1) sila berkumpul dan beratur 10 minit sblm masuk ke dewan. Ada orang volunteer baca doa.
2)masuk dewan dan keluar dewan hanya dari pintu utama
3) dalam dewan sblm mula sama2 membaca doa sekali lagi
4) anggap macam peperiksaan sebenar, jangan bawa pensil box atau benda2 yang tak sepatutnya dibawa
5) tiada perlakuan pelik2 berlaku spnjg trial, spt bakar mercun atau buat kacau dkt sekolah

nota kaki: jaga akhlak dan adab,walaupun benda2 kecil spt potong rambut dan berpakaian kemas. Orang di sblh anda mungking tak selesa dgn rambut panjang anda jadi akan mengganggu konsentrasi.

So it happened tat a few didnt quite heard wat ustzh was saying all along. Some of the students (i dnt wana mention the name, siapa makan cili dia terasa pedasnya) didnt even beratur dkt depan dewan n masuk lambat dlm dewan. Tak baca doa like everybdy else did... N i had assumed they were late because they did a quick rivision before they enter the hall. (if i was wrong, u cld always leave a comment). Bt think again, the rest of the students are actually disturbed by your behaviour. Some of us even thought: who gave u the right to masuk lambat? R u tat special compared to other students tat u cld simply masuk lambat? Everyone has their own fare time to study, some of us even didnt finish studying (tat includes me) but tat doesnt mean we cld start the exam late. Please take ths into consideration, because we are surely disturbed by tat. It almost felt tat u guys thought tat u r the superior ones in the school, different from others or u simply think ur elite. Then bringing pencil box into the hall when no one else does it... In life, we have rules to abide. Most importantly the rules of God. But making sure u abide the school rules, respect wat ustzh said n respect other ppl..tat also means u have a gud akhlak n therefore made u abide God's rules. Sorry if this sounds harsh. But tats wat most of us felt all the time... The ppl in the school are our friends, so lets embrace tat fact hand in hand....

With that,
the end.