this post isn't about other people, its about YOU

bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

i don't really noe how to make a title out of this post. because theres so many things going around inside my head that i dont noe which one to tell first~ this post isn't random, I've been meaning to update and improve my writing skills since forever, but i guess i just didn't have the right click inside my head or the push telling me to do so~

today alhamdulillah i learnt a lesson. a lesson that brought up some huge meaning for me.. i was told and asked by my twin, "have u ever think that ur destined to do more than this" and my answer was simple "of course, everyone thinks about that"

but then he said

"so then what do u do??"

i kept silent. that qs lingered in my head up till now.

with so many things thats happening around me, i feel like a total loss. towards myself. towards my friends. towards my surrounding. i feel like there were certain things that i let them go by flow so easily without trying to even do something about them. and with that, how in the world can i start thinking about "being destined to do more than this" when i don't even care to treat the smaller problems arising within me, within my surrounding?

two main things i would like to say in this post. hopefully by saying this i won't hurt the feelings of any party, although i intended to make my points clear here, insyaAllah. I'm a nobody, I'm a mere human being, I'm not some ulama' in fiqh, syariah, usuluddin, but I'm here to make my points clear as the servant of Allah. i do make mistakes, in fact i make mistakes everyday. and i tried as much to learn from them, knowing its HIM and only HIM that has the right to judge me, regardless of people saying anything about me.
the two things are
1) friendship/ukhuwah/hablum minan nas (hubungan dengan manusia)
2) ikhtilat

we'll go one by one, starting from "friendship"
~ ill bring about a hadeeth here: Riwayat bukhari : " tidak halal bagi seorang muslim tidak bertegur sapa (kerana gaduh) lebih dari tiga hari..yang lebih baik antara keduanya adalah yang memulakan salam" ( al-Bukhari) ... sorry its not in english, as i didn't find out thats in english. *but u should totally read this hadeeth at least three times in order to at least get a grasp of what its trying to point out generally.

my dearest lovable friends,
let us ask ourselves again, why in the world Allah created us in groups of people being called homo sapiens in the first place? its when we have a community, a group of people being together, we are actually in need of each other. theres a continuous DIRE NEED to be having some company with us anywhere and everywhere we go~ its just that sometimes we stop thinking right there.. we didn't really think why is it so important to be having company with us, and why is it so important to be keeping that company close to us...

first kita kena tahu apa niat kita untk bersahabat, untuk berukhuwah. its LILLAHI TA'ALA kan? we keep on saying uhibbuki fillah, saya sayang awak kerana Allah, tp adakah itu hanya mainan di bibir? saya rasa lebih bermakna kalau kita tak ucap perkataan tu but instead benda tu boleh nampak just dengan perlakuan kita.. even i myself, as i speak now, i dare not to say that i love my friends truly because of HIM, bcuz its only HIM who knows whats really inside our heart kan? of course its totally not wrong to be saying it, but its even better if we prove it with our actions.
that goes to my second point here, *apa gaya debate ni?? =__=' so what are the actions that can prove that we are friends with someone lillahi? islam has already given us the guidelines (rukun) towards berukhuwah. #1 salamatus sadri (bersangka baik) #2 tawazun (kesama rataan) #3 ithar (sanggup berkorban)... tapi kenapa ramai yang tak mahu ikut?

subhanallah, cantiknya islam bila islam itu dikira sebagai "the way of life"..~ come one, all of us are destined to do something more than just hurting ur friend's feelings whenever u feel mad or sad, or when u have problems. all of us are destined to do something more than just making ur friends terasa by writing nasty stuff about them in Facebook or blog, just because u feel like ur anger towards that person is worth publicizing it...! all of us are so destined to do something more than just repaying back to ur friends who hurt u in the same manner as what they did to u just because u feel that u have the right to do so! its our destiny, to be doing something more than that, because we are MUSLIMS.

orang mu'min itu bersaudara kan....
cherish our friends, love our friends, treat them the way the we want others to treat us, talk with gud manner with them, be there for them, be there with them! if we do something bad accidentally to them, ask for forgiveness... and don't be shy about it. n always be forgiving too~ barulah kita nak kata "mari same2 kita bergandingan ke syurga!"

"FORGET WHAT HURT YOU BUT NEVER FORGET WHAT IT TAUGHT YOU"

pernah terfikir tak, kenapa ada disebut hadeeth sebegitu di atas, kenapa Rasulullah sampai kata "tidak halal bg seorang muslim" utk tak bertegur sapa with ur friends. can u see how important it is to be treating ur friends the right way, to be looking after them and not hurting them?? sedangkan dalam perkahwinan, a very mutual n pure relationship between a man and a woman pun, boleh terjadinya perpisahan (cerai) even though Allah said itu adalah perkara Halal yg paling dibenci Allah. but Allah allows that to happen. instead, when it comes to ukhuwah, His messenger said "tidal halal" at all to be cutting off ties between friends..

i remembered this one event held in DQ, we had a program called "ukhuwah day" where all of the activities are based on friendship. the theme for the program was "ukhuwah is directly proportional to Eeman", and at the end of the day, i began wondering.. its really true~ u might ask this qs, if its directly proportional, then if ukhuwah kita lemah, maksudnye iman kte lemah ke? that answer can only be answered by YOU. lets see, bila kita sakitkan hati kawan2 kite? bile kite x stabil, bila kite diganggu emosi, bila kite rasa serabut.. what does this indicate??

i hope by writing this down I'm nor hurting any of my beloved friends. but again, i feel a need to say about this. bcuz i feel like theres something wrong going on around me.

oh Allah, jadikanlah kami dalam kalangan orang2 yang beriman..

part two about iktilat coming up insyaAllah~
this post isn't about other people. its about YOU.
THE END.

Turning Point.

dear friend,
Everyday is a turning point for me.....
and that goes to u too~

we see at how people define the word "turning point" so carelessly,
its when people say that when something peculiar happened to you, its a turning point.
and what's funnier, some people even define the word only when "someone" significant is/was present in your life.

turning point, apa ada pada dua kata itu?

in life, we don't follow the flow in the hopes to find something to prove to us that our lives r worth the while,
we SEIZE the moment, and CREATE the memories~
Rejoice with what we have now, never looking back and just walk straight along the road.

To be thinking what makes u deserve the life u have right at this moment, is something anyone shouldn't be thinking about, because its HIS PLAN!.
instead, bear in mind my love,
THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING.
A beginning, to Your Everyday turning point.......
the Tests doesn't stop Here, my friend.
we have a long way to go.

the phrase "letting go", for me isn't a turning point.
its a form of repentance,
towards the mistakes that we made,
towards the mistakes that I made.
(but not all "letting go" is bad lah, cuma dlm context ni u get what i mean?) hahaha

i really wished to say about this longer, but I'm afraid ill babble out too much and go out of the topic.
i realized a lot of things yesterday,
which made me think a lot...
among us friends, we tend to have the thing called "trends", where everyone has their own fare share of stories to be told.
and when u don't really have one that is according to the "trends", u tend to think u lack of something

awak, tak perlukan trend! awak evergreeen! natural beauty! *ayat lawak.

ill end this post with my favorite quotes from a twin;
"Do not think of what Has Happened or what Will Happen, but what you can think of is How you make it Happen..."

scintillate*zenith~

Carta Hati~

seriously, sye x pandai masuk mood jiwang.
but i have to express this no.matter.what.

guys... uhibbukunna~

its a story depicted through the song "carta hati", lagu yg sume org pelik kenapa saya duk ulang banyak kali =='
XDXD

*pada hari bersejarah.

"engkau duduk di situ...
diam tersipu malu...
mahu mendekati aku (melalui sms)..."

"aku mulai resah,
hatiku jadi kebah...
melihat dirimu aku rebah (x dpt nak tahan from telling the truth)..."

"tapi hati ini, kuat menyatakan...
kau terkini duduk di carta hati.....(how hard i tried to avoid still wani rindu korangggg :'( ...)"

"tp perang kini bermula,
dr mata turun ke jiwa,
dr teman menjadi sepi...
tak ada lagi ketawa di hati...."

"sehidup semati kita....
menjanjikan bahagia (manisnya ukhuwah bersama korang),
utk kita semua selama-lamanya...(insyaAllah)"

ohhhhhh..*ni memang lagu die mcm ni...

"jangan engkau jangan pergi,
jangan tinggalku sendiri..
jangan, tinggalkan carta hati....."

"kau janjikan senyuman,
ku janji kau tak terluka...
teruslah berada di carta....hati kita"

"lalu cinta kita bermula (mula semula balik nak..?)
dr mata turun ke jiwa..
dr kawan menjadi teman,
dan berjanji utk setia (be there for each other).."

"sehidup semati kita, (ukhuwah fillah abadan ilal jannah)
menjanjikan bahagia...
utk kita semua, selama-lamanya......................"

~the end.

sorry guys, this week had been really tough for me. I'm sorry. I've always wanted to say this. i wasn't myself, expecting more from people without even giving back. and eventually hurt myself. this friendship, still has a long way to go. sometimes we'll face bumpy roads, sometimes we'll have a straight highway. but in the end, I'm dead sure the journey will be worthwhile. in the end, i WANT this to be worthwhile, and hopefully while we struggle through the journey He will be there to guide us along and bestow upon us HIS BLESSINGS.

ukhuwah itu....manis bila ada kamu.
walaupun masam dan kelat seperti buah mangga manis yang kadangnya kelat sebab belum masak lagi,
tp masih manisnya terasa.
i aint a sweet talker.
takd glucose pun.
but i'd rather tell the truth, rather than be blinded by the lies.

wani rindu korang.........





*nnt wani dtg buat kacau dkt rumah korang XDXDXD

interviews...?

Salam and greetings.

this post is for the dearest juniors. although I'm not sure if this can do any help much.. as our experiences r the same not.

ok so, it happened that i was told to tell a story about how it all turned out to be here, the place where I'm currently studying at.
I'm currently studying, by His will, in unikl mestech (institute of medical sc and technology if I'm not mistaken), doing prep/foundation to further study in jordan, insyaAllah. jordan, as in JUST (jordan university of science and technology).

so how did i get here?

turns out after spm, u need to fill in some forms in...(a link will be b provided in advertisements in the newspaper). so u go there and u choose either MARA/JPA. although i was notified that there will b no more JPA scholarships for this year. their policy changed for some reason (most probably because they r lacking money). so the path which i clicked on, it was MARA as i wasn't confident with the result that i had. of course before u can even start showing off ur talent in the interviews u firstly need to qualify urself to the interviews with ur result. so there, i chose MARA. and when u fill in the forms, there will be a section when u have to choose basically the place that u wish to study. again, uncertain of my results i chose medicine timur tengah (although i really wished i would have clicked non timur tengah and go study abroad in UK or something. but nnt takut kena campak dekat india and indonesia pulak... ==)

fast forward a few billion months, alhamdulillah got an sms from mara saying that i need to attend myself at the MARA office in shah alam on certain days. my experience, that day also happened to be my exam day in Darul Quran! and after a few call to the MARA HQ they said that if u can't attend on that day then there was nothing else that they could do~ ==

so i spoke to the person in charge in DQ pulak, saying that i needed to save my future and attend the interviews. lol. and alhamdulillah, Allah cleared my way, and made it easy at last. i was to sit for the exam in the morning at quickly rushed myself to shah alam for the interview in the afternoon/petang.

upon arriving, had a few complications because they said that my name was in the morning session and they thought that i didn't attend the interview. but at last, they still gave me some form to fill up, and year subhanallah! its time for interview!
mind u, before u go for the interview u still need to fill up some forms and they will ask u again which place do u think u prefer to study. some people say they actually look at the choice in the form that u fill up, not the one in the online form. so at that time i thought that i wanna go to aussie at least, so i put aussie instead of timur tengah. alas, Allah noes better of what He has for me.

so my interview session was the last session for the day, and i was like so nervous because everyone else had gone back and finished their interviews, only left a few more people like me. we have 6 people in the group at that time, 3 boys and 3 girls. and i made friends with one of the girls whom happened to get UPU UM kott, which was like superb. her results were great, all A+ except for her english. and i thought that,,.perghh habis lah aku nnt! but never mind, just do ur best.

so fast forward another billion months, alhamdulillah i managed to get the scholarship! subhanallah...it was when my house was robbed that we got the news. and Allah really noes best of what He has for me, for us... His servants.

so this program I'm in, its like a twinning program but aint one. this is the 3rd batch that MARA is offering to do this. instead of going to INTEC for three months then straight away go to jordan to start ur first year there, we are to stay here and do our first year here. since the first year of medicine according to jordan's scheme of study is kinda like foundation, so they think that maybe its better to study here first. as u noe, there r like 800 students doing medicine in JUST so u may not get used to the overpopulation and ur studies might get bumpy there.

so this program, for medicine = 1 year here and the next 5 years there. n ill be graduating under JUST, takd beza whatsoever than the people dr INTEC then straightaway go to jordan. and for dentistry pulak, 1 year here and 4 years there in jordan.

although u need to get 3.5 CGPA if u wanna go to jordan.. bear in mind that.

so i guess thats it. any inquiries Arifuddin, do ask me. haha! penat ahh tulis niiii! =)

the end.

19 me~!

pre-birthday post.

subhanallah....im 19!! *tue kottt.

dearest Family, really really really am missing u guys . in a whole bunch!
T___T
i wish my family can somehow reunite and dr sana sini and come here to spend time together and just laugh our hearts out~


*the smiles aren't fake, I'm definitely sure! favorite pic of the day, love u sis! bettaufiq wannajah lil imtihan~

done.

Pfffttttt.

I still want to Believe,!
but then maybe we turn of belief to the wrong place.

new sem already started. kalau nak cerita kena ada 10 kertas kajang
ok, itu hiperbola.
tp rasa otak perlu ditebar ke 10 kertas kajang untuk memampatkan segala benda bagaii
or even more

went to hospital td, got a glimpse of jabatan emergensi (dalam english emergency department)
masyaAllah...hati ini tertanya, betul ke aku nak jadi doktor ni?
tengok tempat tu penuh kesedihan,
recalled; green,yellow and red zone.
red zone means ur dead huh?

(...) titik tiga...

then perg ward 6E, its for strok people. lalu sekali ward pediatric.
sayu.
hospital is really not a happy place nowadays.

looking at the absurd side,
pergi ground level,
hectic!
macam pasar..orang amek ubat, orang amek darah, klinik ortopedik paling sesak, bersebelahan klinik sakit biasa.
n out of sudden, dekat lobby hospital tampat general counter information tu,
ada stall tiba2 didirikan
mula2 nampak kt tepi tu org jual milo and dadih..
boleh tahan lg,
sekali perg dekat tengah2 tu..yg bnyk orang perempuan kerumun,
ada orang jual emas =__________________________________=
speechless. nak gelak pun rasa tak kena.

hahaha!

(...) titik tiga...

sorry people for the absurdness

p/s: sorry and thank u r both very gud words....