An awesome weekend! after a tragic week!
Ahhhh. this empty heart felt like being filled in.. and its not really that cold here (anywhere ur heart is) even though outside it is raining. yesterday i went out with DQ friends to go beraya to our teachers house, ustazah syafawati.THAT WAS JUST THE HAPPIEST DAY IN THIS WEEKKK! masyaAllah i couldn't describe this longing feeling of missing them so much! even though eventually they had to be penalized for going back to DQ late, but i guess it was worth it. siap buat trademark "kelas Najmatul Ulya BLACKLIST" untuk dipersembahkan dekat ustz Dasuki. LOL. they are really awesome! and wats more, two of them had just khatam quran before raya. subhanallah, nanti iadah quran betul2 tau! ana bangga dengan antunna semua!
i really appreciate them coming for afar, getting on the train at 7am. we laughed together, discussed interesting things with our beloved ustazah, and was campaigned by some strangers to HERBALIFE. in the end all of us had to drink the herbalife product and immediately after that each of us searched for the bathroom. =) then semua orang pergi redah hujan to take some pictures, and i ended up having sore throats the next day. rasa bahagiaaaa sangat, Allah saja yang tau.
the bonus part is here! we get to buy BOOKS! not chemistry and physics books of course. after beraya rumah ustazah we went to look at some books. alhamdulillah dapat jugak beli the long-awaited buku DALAM DEKAPAN UKHUWAH. then bought asbab nuzul and 7 formulas of excellent individuals too. ya Allah, please let me finsih all those three books.
of course, it was saddening to part ways with them in the evening. they needed to go back to DQ, a place i once..dislike the system. but now, i feel like going back with them, clarifying myself as a student there.... dear friends, u guys will always be in my heart. i may not noe yet the real taste of ukhuwah..but with u guys, i feel it coming... T_T
then the next day, after having some problems with driving class (caused by myself), alhamdulillah i got the chance to attend debate training with other schools. there was arif hakimi and laila, n it was such a great experience. i got to debate again after leaving it for so long. lol as crappy as it is, I'm grateful i had that debate. at least i get to debate with other people, not myself. seeing those people who were once in my life; laila,arif, fakhry, fattah, kamalia, iman...i was really glad.
heres the catch of this post:
I've been meeting with the people in my past and the times spent with them felt so great that it felt like running away from the reality. since this week have been a tremendous blow to me, with new environment yet still to adapt, new friends whom i don't even noe their last name, and lecturers teaching in uni so fas i hardly could breath.. it really felt like I'm running away. and wats the best way to run away from reality if not by letting yourself live in the past. but thats not gona do you any good in the future is it..
so i wonder, i ran away, could i find my way back? when eventually its monday and i have to be back to hostel, i have to attend classes with strangers I'm yet to adapt, i have to accept the environment fast or else ill be the one ketinggalan.. all those things, when will i could finally find my way back. yes, i noe that i need to move forward. i need to start growing up in the real sense of growing up where nobody would wait for u. everything now starts round and about me, myself n I. its gona be tiring.. but wani, this is life. not some dream.
when..will i could finally LET GO?
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