"Merdeka"

Salam Aidilfitri, dear muslim brothers and sisters around the world.

Happy Merdeka, malaysians.

finally, after one month of Ramadhan, wani has yet found the true meaning of friendship, ukhuwah, and iman. once, there was this programme back in DQ. "ukhuwah day" / "muhasabah sem". so the tagline for the program was "ukhuwah is directly proportional to eeman". the tagline was created by Saffana, head girl of BPI (biro penerbitan dan informasi).

so a few months after that, i began wondering the truth behind the things that Amirah Syaha said back when it was malam muhasabah sem. "kalau saya tak dapat lagi kawan baik, saya tak rasa lagi manisnya ukhuwah, kalau akal berfikir berpandukan tagline ni, then maksudnya iman saya rendah lah kan..because if it is directly proportional, then kalau ukhuwah down, iman sure down.."

macam tu ke sebenarnye? kami yang masih mencari2 erti ukhuwah sebenar, imannya ada problem? begitu?

then i wondered too, about the things i said back then. i stood up in front of everyone, knowing at that time that i needed to say it to make my friends realize that i wasn't really that happy-go-lucky wani. i was hiding something behind the smiles i offered to them. i said " ana sebenarnye rasa, ukhuwah di DQ ni hypocrite.." yeah i noe it sounded harsh, i intended for it to be that way. but then, maybe i was the one being hypocrite to them.. thats the thing that made me wondered again..

Merdeka, apa itu merdeka? -pergi tengok video sayonara jahiliyyah dkt page fb.. thats wat merdeka.

Alhamdulillah, I'm happy. raya tahun ni alakadar,sederhana. yang penting, aman. even though nitemares still ada, but..aman. ditambah dengan diarrhea yg dihidapi pada raya kedua, mungkin kafarah dosa. tp Alhamdulillah..

n bila tengok gambar raya kawan2, rasa lagi bahagia. rasa lagi gembira. am happy, seeing them happy, from afar.

ayah dan ibu, i noe I've done tones of dosa2 yang mungkin takkan sempat nak tebus balik dengan kebaikan sepanjang hidup di dunia ni. but please noe. i didn't mean to hurt u. boleh tak nak buat system, kalau kita sakitkan mak ayah kita, please dont make them hurt by it, tp sakit tu balikkan dekar diri sendiri? so that anak2 boleh tahu sakitnya macam mana..

Maaf Zahir dan Batin semua..

semoga amalan kita diterima Allah...