In just two more days, my ridiculous and ludicrous final examinations will end. The final end that we are all waiting for. eventually,,,.. today will end by having the sun settling down. so to say, everything must have an end, agree?
Whether we like it or not, this year (2009) will end soon. nows already November. and SCHOOL will end in just two more weeks. lets talk specifically about this year since its already ending. for the past 15 years, ive been living in my own sweet moments and life that i was too gobsmacked to run through a change this year. in addition to the topic, when everything has its end, wheres the start?
it all started this year when my life ended up as a Form 3. lots of people say that this year ill get my honeymoon year (in what terms of honeymoon i dont noe). as far as i noe, this year has been a total crazy, bizarre and spectacular experience to be kept in this memory bank. from the start of school, some of my friends and i was upset not to get into the first class (hhmmpphh, mcm layak je). i was in the rebellious state towards the school from the beginning. acting like a girl and being one myself, all of us hurriedly put down our names at the best places in class (cop tmpat maing masing). just my luck, i got to sit beside a very freaky and weird guy. lol. apologies to the guy because somehow we (me and Syafinah) really really think ur very freaky. the eraser incident (only we noe), i think must ve been an accident. but that just made things worse. ha ha.
the subjects of F4 are tough. i couldnt get a thing of what the teachers say at first. Syafinah always sleep beside me, then amazingly she'll explain to me what the teacher has been teaching add maths in front. until,,..one sunny day ustazah Che Ainu asked me to recite the ayat quran for Syariah and a week later, i got this key towards the biggest change in my life, so far. she asked me to represent the school in Majlis Tilawah Quran for hafazan. i have only less than two weeks to memorize 8 surahs and yes, i even plan to give the chance to another friend of mine, thinking that i couldnt do it in just two weeks. at the same time, i realize that this was what my parents want after all. so under constant motivation from my mom, friends and teachers, alhamdulilah i passed the zone level with fresh lines from ustaz Solah "bacaan kamu ni macam peringkat kebangsaan lah."
its already in March, and another side of the story hasnt been told yet. under the influence or rather persuasion from Iman, i put myself into debate two years ago. when Iman said that she felt very awkward as the youngest there, she needed a friend and yep, thats me. as time goes by, i realize that the debate team itself is great enough without my presence. i was as should be said, just a companion to be with at the moment. but still, i learned a lot from how to open up ur mind into other people's perspective, how to speak and most importantly, how to put those things in a debate. unfortunately, this year was my rebellious year! i decided to back off from debate but ended up just to have Iman giving me long lectures about how i will do great in debate. yeah right. however, a week after the school break.. she too left me for her better future.
for those who do not noe, debate and hafazan are two different things. you cant compare it to hafazan and tilawah or debate and public speaking. not that i say i have to split myself into two, but thats how it looked like when i first decided to do both debate and hafazan. not to mention, my studies will be constantly being pushed forward and backwards in terms of prioratizing. Alhamdulillah, even for the first time in hafazan competition, i managed to see the Kebangsaan level for myself as ustaz Solah prescribed. and as for debate, even thought the journey wasnt as long as other debaters may be, i can now say that ive experienced many things in life that i could be proud of. and even though i got number 13 in monthly test recently, (never in my life exceeding number 10), ill just have to work harder to be balanced.
to cut things short, no need to noe the hardships and laughters.. all of this will be ending soon, along with the end of the year. how i keep ranting about the school's oddity, how i really stink in Chemistry, how i stayed back late just to practice debate, how i locked myself just to see how far can i memorize ayat quran in a day.... its all ending.strong friendships, or happy relationships with people, somehow will end when its time (maybe the time when we die). people say we shouldnt look behind and live with the past. but i cant help to think that if we cant remember the past,we will not be able to make a future (or its just my saying that i hate to think of the future).
when theres an ending, theres always a new start towards something new. this year needs to end, next year wil be the start of something new. whats next to come, i dont noe. what i can truly hope for is Allah never left my side to continue this journey.
unfinished journey;
"People spend a lifetime searching for happiness; looking for peace. They chase idle dreams, addictions, religions, even other people, hoping to fill the emptiness that plagues them. The irony is the only place they ever needed to search was within" - Ramona L. Anderson
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