"Merdeka"

Salam Aidilfitri, dear muslim brothers and sisters around the world.

Happy Merdeka, malaysians.

finally, after one month of Ramadhan, wani has yet found the true meaning of friendship, ukhuwah, and iman. once, there was this programme back in DQ. "ukhuwah day" / "muhasabah sem". so the tagline for the program was "ukhuwah is directly proportional to eeman". the tagline was created by Saffana, head girl of BPI (biro penerbitan dan informasi).

so a few months after that, i began wondering the truth behind the things that Amirah Syaha said back when it was malam muhasabah sem. "kalau saya tak dapat lagi kawan baik, saya tak rasa lagi manisnya ukhuwah, kalau akal berfikir berpandukan tagline ni, then maksudnya iman saya rendah lah kan..because if it is directly proportional, then kalau ukhuwah down, iman sure down.."

macam tu ke sebenarnye? kami yang masih mencari2 erti ukhuwah sebenar, imannya ada problem? begitu?

then i wondered too, about the things i said back then. i stood up in front of everyone, knowing at that time that i needed to say it to make my friends realize that i wasn't really that happy-go-lucky wani. i was hiding something behind the smiles i offered to them. i said " ana sebenarnye rasa, ukhuwah di DQ ni hypocrite.." yeah i noe it sounded harsh, i intended for it to be that way. but then, maybe i was the one being hypocrite to them.. thats the thing that made me wondered again..

Merdeka, apa itu merdeka? -pergi tengok video sayonara jahiliyyah dkt page fb.. thats wat merdeka.

Alhamdulillah, I'm happy. raya tahun ni alakadar,sederhana. yang penting, aman. even though nitemares still ada, but..aman. ditambah dengan diarrhea yg dihidapi pada raya kedua, mungkin kafarah dosa. tp Alhamdulillah..

n bila tengok gambar raya kawan2, rasa lagi bahagia. rasa lagi gembira. am happy, seeing them happy, from afar.

ayah dan ibu, i noe I've done tones of dosa2 yang mungkin takkan sempat nak tebus balik dengan kebaikan sepanjang hidup di dunia ni. but please noe. i didn't mean to hurt u. boleh tak nak buat system, kalau kita sakitkan mak ayah kita, please dont make them hurt by it, tp sakit tu balikkan dekar diri sendiri? so that anak2 boleh tahu sakitnya macam mana..

Maaf Zahir dan Batin semua..

semoga amalan kita diterima Allah...

teach me about myself.

seribu satu perasaan bila tengok gambar ni. the rainbow, shows how far this life could be far-fetched. the black n white, macam shows how kelam it could be.

Rational, yet Emotional. boleh ke?

kenapa blog ni mcm moody n negative thinking je?

1)bcuz i only write here when I'm moody.
2)yes, when I'm moody and something upsets me ill think negatively most of the time
3)yes, I'm tired of it too
4)yes, i cannot do anything about it YET.

post ni panjang actually, but was deleted after feeling like my story are easily exposed here. nak cerita, tapi tak nak cerita. kalau tak cerita, sakit jiwa. kalau cerita, lagi sakit jiwa. tapi sampan bila tak nak cerita? lol. I'm still sane, don't get me wrong.

Happy last-10-days of Ramadhan..

nonsense

i told u this blog if for the owners pleasure. its not gud to b made public pun. this time,..the post entitled nonsense. because ill b taking nonsense, in the means of trying to get a grip of myself. pardon me for that.

Allah.......tengah sakit.. nak tulis dekat atas kertas n doodle something with this, rasa mcm tak guna je kertas tu dibazirkan sebab seorang manusia yang tak dapat menenangkan diri sendiri.

Allah.....sangat sakit.. nak tulis nonsense dkt microsoft word, lagi lah macam lawak. silap2 buat karangan lepas tu send dekat miss nurhuda untuk assignment for the week pulak..

Allah......sangat sangat sakit...n this servant of Urs really don't noe wat to do..
di sini je lah rasanye boleh tulis something worth like this.

wani, bila lah nak sembuh..?

n the worst part, its really hard to focus. bio dah masuk 3 chapters. physics dah nak mask 2nd tutorial, chemistry dah merepek2 nak count sana sini, arabic dah start belabor bahasa pasar jordan yg bunyi mcm bahasa german dah.. tp otak wani masihh dal am mode "sleep". wani...tolong jangan jade mcm ni. u need to..well, do something. DO WHAT?!!!

dear Ramadhan, i really like u a lot.
but..i don't noe if u like me or not.. *sigh T_T

Abid..?

Abid Allah, Abdullah, yang beriman.. siapa yang tak nak jadi mcm tu?

tapi diri ni banyak sangat dosa kan?
td baru je tambah banyak lagi dosa. sebab tak boleh tido punye pasal, perg cari pasal dengan diri sendiri.
Ahhhh. Astaghfirullah.

Ramadhan kali ni, wat does it mean to You Wanie?

saya,rasa sangat jahat dan berdosa....

nota Kaki: mintalah ampun pada Tuhanmu, nescaya Allah itu Maha Mendengar...

mode: lost by myself