Salam Aidilfitri, dear muslim brothers and sisters around the world.
Happy Merdeka, malaysians.
finally, after one month of Ramadhan, wani has yet found the true meaning of friendship, ukhuwah, and iman. once, there was this programme back in DQ. "ukhuwah day" / "muhasabah sem". so the tagline for the program was "ukhuwah is directly proportional to eeman". the tagline was created by Saffana, head girl of BPI (biro penerbitan dan informasi).
so a few months after that, i began wondering the truth behind the things that Amirah Syaha said back when it was malam muhasabah sem. "kalau saya tak dapat lagi kawan baik, saya tak rasa lagi manisnya ukhuwah, kalau akal berfikir berpandukan tagline ni, then maksudnya iman saya rendah lah kan..because if it is directly proportional, then kalau ukhuwah down, iman sure down.."
macam tu ke sebenarnye? kami yang masih mencari2 erti ukhuwah sebenar, imannya ada problem? begitu?
then i wondered too, about the things i said back then. i stood up in front of everyone, knowing at that time that i needed to say it to make my friends realize that i wasn't really that happy-go-lucky wani. i was hiding something behind the smiles i offered to them. i said " ana sebenarnye rasa, ukhuwah di DQ ni hypocrite.." yeah i noe it sounded harsh, i intended for it to be that way. but then, maybe i was the one being hypocrite to them.. thats the thing that made me wondered again..
Merdeka, apa itu merdeka? -pergi tengok video sayonara jahiliyyah dkt page fb.. thats wat merdeka.
Alhamdulillah, I'm happy. raya tahun ni alakadar,sederhana. yang penting, aman. even though nitemares still ada, but..aman. ditambah dengan diarrhea yg dihidapi pada raya kedua, mungkin kafarah dosa. tp Alhamdulillah..
n bila tengok gambar raya kawan2, rasa lagi bahagia. rasa lagi gembira. am happy, seeing them happy, from afar.
ayah dan ibu, i noe I've done tones of dosa2 yang mungkin takkan sempat nak tebus balik dengan kebaikan sepanjang hidup di dunia ni. but please noe. i didn't mean to hurt u. boleh tak nak buat system, kalau kita sakitkan mak ayah kita, please dont make them hurt by it, tp sakit tu balikkan dekar diri sendiri? so that anak2 boleh tahu sakitnya macam mana..
Maaf Zahir dan Batin semua..
semoga amalan kita diterima Allah...
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
teach me about myself.
seribu satu perasaan bila tengok gambar ni. the rainbow, shows how far this life could be far-fetched. the black n white, macam shows how kelam it could be.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Rational, yet Emotional. boleh ke?
kenapa blog ni mcm moody n negative thinking je?
1)bcuz i only write here when I'm moody.
2)yes, when I'm moody and something upsets me ill think negatively most of the time
3)yes, I'm tired of it too
4)yes, i cannot do anything about it YET.
post ni panjang actually, but was deleted after feeling like my story are easily exposed here. nak cerita, tapi tak nak cerita. kalau tak cerita, sakit jiwa. kalau cerita, lagi sakit jiwa. tapi sampan bila tak nak cerita? lol. I'm still sane, don't get me wrong.
Happy last-10-days of Ramadhan..
1)bcuz i only write here when I'm moody.
2)yes, when I'm moody and something upsets me ill think negatively most of the time
3)yes, I'm tired of it too
4)yes, i cannot do anything about it YET.
post ni panjang actually, but was deleted after feeling like my story are easily exposed here. nak cerita, tapi tak nak cerita. kalau tak cerita, sakit jiwa. kalau cerita, lagi sakit jiwa. tapi sampan bila tak nak cerita? lol. I'm still sane, don't get me wrong.
Happy last-10-days of Ramadhan..
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
nonsense
i told u this blog if for the owners pleasure. its not gud to b made public pun. this time,..the post entitled nonsense. because ill b taking nonsense, in the means of trying to get a grip of myself. pardon me for that.
Allah.......tengah sakit.. nak tulis dekat atas kertas n doodle something with this, rasa mcm tak guna je kertas tu dibazirkan sebab seorang manusia yang tak dapat menenangkan diri sendiri.
Allah.....sangat sakit.. nak tulis nonsense dkt microsoft word, lagi lah macam lawak. silap2 buat karangan lepas tu send dekat miss nurhuda untuk assignment for the week pulak..
Allah......sangat sangat sakit...n this servant of Urs really don't noe wat to do..
di sini je lah rasanye boleh tulis something worth like this.
wani, bila lah nak sembuh..?
n the worst part, its really hard to focus. bio dah masuk 3 chapters. physics dah nak mask 2nd tutorial, chemistry dah merepek2 nak count sana sini, arabic dah start belabor bahasa pasar jordan yg bunyi mcm bahasa german dah.. tp otak wani masihh dal am mode "sleep". wani...tolong jangan jade mcm ni. u need to..well, do something. DO WHAT?!!!
dear Ramadhan, i really like u a lot.
but..i don't noe if u like me or not.. *sigh T_T
Allah.......tengah sakit.. nak tulis dekat atas kertas n doodle something with this, rasa mcm tak guna je kertas tu dibazirkan sebab seorang manusia yang tak dapat menenangkan diri sendiri.
Allah.....sangat sakit.. nak tulis nonsense dkt microsoft word, lagi lah macam lawak. silap2 buat karangan lepas tu send dekat miss nurhuda untuk assignment for the week pulak..
Allah......sangat sangat sakit...n this servant of Urs really don't noe wat to do..
di sini je lah rasanye boleh tulis something worth like this.
wani, bila lah nak sembuh..?
n the worst part, its really hard to focus. bio dah masuk 3 chapters. physics dah nak mask 2nd tutorial, chemistry dah merepek2 nak count sana sini, arabic dah start belabor bahasa pasar jordan yg bunyi mcm bahasa german dah.. tp otak wani masihh dal am mode "sleep". wani...tolong jangan jade mcm ni. u need to..well, do something. DO WHAT?!!!
dear Ramadhan, i really like u a lot.
but..i don't noe if u like me or not.. *sigh T_T
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Abid..?
Abid Allah, Abdullah, yang beriman.. siapa yang tak nak jadi mcm tu?
tapi diri ni banyak sangat dosa kan?
td baru je tambah banyak lagi dosa. sebab tak boleh tido punye pasal, perg cari pasal dengan diri sendiri.
Ahhhh. Astaghfirullah.
Ramadhan kali ni, wat does it mean to You Wanie?
saya,rasa sangat jahat dan berdosa....
nota Kaki: mintalah ampun pada Tuhanmu, nescaya Allah itu Maha Mendengar...
mode: lost by myself
tapi diri ni banyak sangat dosa kan?
td baru je tambah banyak lagi dosa. sebab tak boleh tido punye pasal, perg cari pasal dengan diri sendiri.
Ahhhh. Astaghfirullah.
Ramadhan kali ni, wat does it mean to You Wanie?
saya,rasa sangat jahat dan berdosa....
nota Kaki: mintalah ampun pada Tuhanmu, nescaya Allah itu Maha Mendengar...
mode: lost by myself
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Selamat Tinggal.
There are just things that U have to say Gudbye.
N i have said my Goodbye to Darul Quran.
Im sorry to myself for not writing so long, making myself suppressed and oppressed with so many thoughts. well i havent got a new laptop since the last one missing. but Alhamdulillah, here i am, writing for myself ehh?
24/07/2011. The day I left Darul Quran.
It was as if a lump was suddenly there in my throat that i cld barely speak. I cld barely express this sad feeling i'm having. i texted this close person saying that its the end for me in DQ n smiled upon this person replying : Make Sure You Say Goodbye.
Goodbye DQ, well i noe u will do fine without me. but its me thats uncertain if i will do fine out there or not. Thank You to my friends there, my dearest Fast Trackers, my roomate, my teachers, the seniors, Hal Ehwal Pelajar (even though i hate the system there), and kakak prebet (without u, i wldnt be able to fly from DQ). u guys hv done so much for me, and only Allah cld repay u for ur gud deeds.
to Cik Faqihah, inche roomate: insyaAllah saya akan bangun awal lain kali. Doakan saya kuat dkt luar. minta maaf sebab selalu cik faqihah kena kejutkan saya pagi2. jangan nakal2 dekat sana. jangan selalu mengelamun dan berangan. jangan sibuk sangat pasal EKON. cari modal hafazan banyak2 ye
to dearest fast Trackers: syi, thanks jadi ex husband saya yang sentiasa menyokong saya. jgn tensen2 iadah tau. ana tau nti boleh, kan dah masyi tu. nanti tengok2kan sarah, n anak kita hafizah di Taylors college tu ye. aisyah ketua kelas, jangan nakal2 ye, ustaz Faiz dah takde nak tegur. hehe. jangan asyik baca novel je. nanti angau selalu. n jangan makan Maggi! Alang, jangan blurr sangat tau. ingat pesan angah, kita kena always be alert. Atifah, jangan menjerit je dengan cik faqihah! =) nnt ana report dkt mak enti. and sarah my buddy, hey u have a gud heart intact with u. just waiting to b nurtured well enough (by k.syafiqah mayb), then insyaAllah ill see u doing great things for the benefit of all (hehh, faham tak apa ana cakap ni..?hihi)
to dear masjid, maktabah, and tasik: terima kasih kerana telah menjadikan DQ satu tempat yang sgt akan dikenang because of these places. maktabah,with all those exotic religion books, tafseer, comparative religion books, and many more. masjid, for the wonderful sheikh from al-Azhar who wld b our Iman for maghrib n subuh mostly. and tasik: for allowing us to kayak and for letting us throw rocks n stones into ur deep water whenever we feel like to.
to Pengarah DQ: terima kasih ustz sbb ustz sangat baik. terima kasih juga to isteri ustz (ustzh marzilah) sbb masakkan nasi lemak buat saya dan kawan2 bila kami rasa mengada2 nak makan dekat Dewan Makan..
to Ustazah Farhana: terima kasih ustzh, sbb marah saya waktu saya malas2. terima kasih sebab didik saya..tasmi' saya sampai saya khatam. terima kasih to uncle as well, sebab masakan uncle sangat sedap. nnti saya bawa lagi family saya datang kuala kubu bharu makan mushroom soup uncle.
to k. syafiqah, k.dayah, n k.hazirah: masyaAllah ana uhibbukunna fillah.. jazakunnallah khairal jaza' kerana selalu bagi motivation talk dkt saya.. saya sayang akak2 semua! jaga diri tau k.dayah, k.syafiqah kena always cool, n k.hazirah..insyaAllah kita jumpa dkt Jordan. =)
i would never become who i am if it werent for the tarbiyah in a place called...DARUL QURAN.
Goodbye.
N i have said my Goodbye to Darul Quran.
Im sorry to myself for not writing so long, making myself suppressed and oppressed with so many thoughts. well i havent got a new laptop since the last one missing. but Alhamdulillah, here i am, writing for myself ehh?
24/07/2011. The day I left Darul Quran.
It was as if a lump was suddenly there in my throat that i cld barely speak. I cld barely express this sad feeling i'm having. i texted this close person saying that its the end for me in DQ n smiled upon this person replying : Make Sure You Say Goodbye.
Goodbye DQ, well i noe u will do fine without me. but its me thats uncertain if i will do fine out there or not. Thank You to my friends there, my dearest Fast Trackers, my roomate, my teachers, the seniors, Hal Ehwal Pelajar (even though i hate the system there), and kakak prebet (without u, i wldnt be able to fly from DQ). u guys hv done so much for me, and only Allah cld repay u for ur gud deeds.
to Cik Faqihah, inche roomate: insyaAllah saya akan bangun awal lain kali. Doakan saya kuat dkt luar. minta maaf sebab selalu cik faqihah kena kejutkan saya pagi2. jangan nakal2 dekat sana. jangan selalu mengelamun dan berangan. jangan sibuk sangat pasal EKON. cari modal hafazan banyak2 ye
to dearest fast Trackers: syi, thanks jadi ex husband saya yang sentiasa menyokong saya. jgn tensen2 iadah tau. ana tau nti boleh, kan dah masyi tu. nanti tengok2kan sarah, n anak kita hafizah di Taylors college tu ye. aisyah ketua kelas, jangan nakal2 ye, ustaz Faiz dah takde nak tegur. hehe. jangan asyik baca novel je. nanti angau selalu. n jangan makan Maggi! Alang, jangan blurr sangat tau. ingat pesan angah, kita kena always be alert. Atifah, jangan menjerit je dengan cik faqihah! =) nnt ana report dkt mak enti. and sarah my buddy, hey u have a gud heart intact with u. just waiting to b nurtured well enough (by k.syafiqah mayb), then insyaAllah ill see u doing great things for the benefit of all (hehh, faham tak apa ana cakap ni..?hihi)
to dear masjid, maktabah, and tasik: terima kasih kerana telah menjadikan DQ satu tempat yang sgt akan dikenang because of these places. maktabah,with all those exotic religion books, tafseer, comparative religion books, and many more. masjid, for the wonderful sheikh from al-Azhar who wld b our Iman for maghrib n subuh mostly. and tasik: for allowing us to kayak and for letting us throw rocks n stones into ur deep water whenever we feel like to.
to Pengarah DQ: terima kasih ustz sbb ustz sangat baik. terima kasih juga to isteri ustz (ustzh marzilah) sbb masakkan nasi lemak buat saya dan kawan2 bila kami rasa mengada2 nak makan dekat Dewan Makan..
to Ustazah Farhana: terima kasih ustzh, sbb marah saya waktu saya malas2. terima kasih sebab didik saya..tasmi' saya sampai saya khatam. terima kasih to uncle as well, sebab masakan uncle sangat sedap. nnti saya bawa lagi family saya datang kuala kubu bharu makan mushroom soup uncle.
to k. syafiqah, k.dayah, n k.hazirah: masyaAllah ana uhibbukunna fillah.. jazakunnallah khairal jaza' kerana selalu bagi motivation talk dkt saya.. saya sayang akak2 semua! jaga diri tau k.dayah, k.syafiqah kena always cool, n k.hazirah..insyaAllah kita jumpa dkt Jordan. =)
i would never become who i am if it werent for the tarbiyah in a place called...DARUL QURAN.
Goodbye.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Are U A Leader?
salam.
I was eager to write this down sincerely. its something im always keen to do; sharing. sharing the knowledge, sharing the bad n gud memories, sharing, wat i feel like needed to b shared. =)
so this time, this question aroused inside my head. Do u think that U r a leadeR? when asked this question, most people probably have this view: jangan nak perasan lah weh. tak payah tanya soalan macam tu. kalau orang pilih, kiranya ur a leader and kalau orang dh pilih, naik je lah jadi leader, tak payah nak bising2.
hmphhhh. typical.
in the scope of being Muslims, we need in fact to realize our objective of living in this world. we cld never run away from these two objectives tat Allah had alrdy lined up for us. we are here to 1) govern #become a caliph and 2) to subjugate ourselves as servants to Allah #mengabdikan diri pd Allah. so becoming a caliph, u realy need to ask urself if u r a leader/gud leader if u want to pass this job with flying colours eyy?
heres the trick to this question: experience taught me that when u ask this question, theres a way to test whether ur answer is correct or wrong. whether u r a leader or not. whether u r a gud leader or otherwise.. the test is simple. u go to the nearest musolla/surau/masjid, (make sure u come early). wait for the azan, get ur solat sunat rawatib done, and as quickly as possible go to the first line in front of the masjid and offer urself to be..well an IMAM. solat itself has taught us so many things that cld b related to life (e.g the moral of khusyu' when u sujud teaches u to focus n many more), wat more cld u ask from SOLAT BERJEMAAH. try n delve more into it n it cld even teach u how to govern a country RIGHT (so, does that mean if the leaders of our country doesnt solat berjemaah than they r NOT RIGHT? lol just something to ponder)
this test is best done during solat SUBUH, MAGHRIB AND ISYA'. for those who did this test before, must hv known the feeling. for me, it was a great experience which taught me a lot. when it was exam time i didnt really go to masjid in order to save time. so i performed my five prayers in surau asrama banat and was asked to b an imam lots of time, (mayb bcuz i was there early or something). the first time ever, my hands were shaking in fact my body cldnt stand stil properly. for u to solat and FACE ALLAH THE CREATOR at that time, at the same moment leading my sisters in islam properly to face Allah too, is not an easy job. to me it felt wonderful biiznillah, alhamdulilah. because i noe leading people in solat is the only CERTAIN thing that we noe, "yes im leading people the RIGHT WAY, to Allah". n it was a challenge for me too, for i was leading a bunch of great huffaz behind me. it was of great memories, n i cld say i missed being an imam there.
to my friends, brothers n sisters in islam, do not b afraid. go for it. test urself with this simple test. once u tried the first time, n ull think subhanallah this was great, and peaceful...
so people, are u a leader? =)
I was eager to write this down sincerely. its something im always keen to do; sharing. sharing the knowledge, sharing the bad n gud memories, sharing, wat i feel like needed to b shared. =)
so this time, this question aroused inside my head. Do u think that U r a leadeR? when asked this question, most people probably have this view: jangan nak perasan lah weh. tak payah tanya soalan macam tu. kalau orang pilih, kiranya ur a leader and kalau orang dh pilih, naik je lah jadi leader, tak payah nak bising2.
hmphhhh. typical.
in the scope of being Muslims, we need in fact to realize our objective of living in this world. we cld never run away from these two objectives tat Allah had alrdy lined up for us. we are here to 1) govern #become a caliph and 2) to subjugate ourselves as servants to Allah #mengabdikan diri pd Allah. so becoming a caliph, u realy need to ask urself if u r a leader/gud leader if u want to pass this job with flying colours eyy?
heres the trick to this question: experience taught me that when u ask this question, theres a way to test whether ur answer is correct or wrong. whether u r a leader or not. whether u r a gud leader or otherwise.. the test is simple. u go to the nearest musolla/surau/masjid, (make sure u come early). wait for the azan, get ur solat sunat rawatib done, and as quickly as possible go to the first line in front of the masjid and offer urself to be..well an IMAM. solat itself has taught us so many things that cld b related to life (e.g the moral of khusyu' when u sujud teaches u to focus n many more), wat more cld u ask from SOLAT BERJEMAAH. try n delve more into it n it cld even teach u how to govern a country RIGHT (so, does that mean if the leaders of our country doesnt solat berjemaah than they r NOT RIGHT? lol just something to ponder)
this test is best done during solat SUBUH, MAGHRIB AND ISYA'. for those who did this test before, must hv known the feeling. for me, it was a great experience which taught me a lot. when it was exam time i didnt really go to masjid in order to save time. so i performed my five prayers in surau asrama banat and was asked to b an imam lots of time, (mayb bcuz i was there early or something). the first time ever, my hands were shaking in fact my body cldnt stand stil properly. for u to solat and FACE ALLAH THE CREATOR at that time, at the same moment leading my sisters in islam properly to face Allah too, is not an easy job. to me it felt wonderful biiznillah, alhamdulilah. because i noe leading people in solat is the only CERTAIN thing that we noe, "yes im leading people the RIGHT WAY, to Allah". n it was a challenge for me too, for i was leading a bunch of great huffaz behind me. it was of great memories, n i cld say i missed being an imam there.
to my friends, brothers n sisters in islam, do not b afraid. go for it. test urself with this simple test. once u tried the first time, n ull think subhanallah this was great, and peaceful...
so people, are u a leader? =)
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